With all the thoughts and prayers being hopefully tossed into the Zeitgeist one has to wonder if all those requests are canceling each other out and perhaps that is why we see little results from our thoughts and prayers. For instance, if a Christian is praying to stop Muslims and a Muslim is praying to stop Christians; are they both stopped? See, I think that my prayers are being counter prayed against — Ka-ren — and that is why they aren’t working.
It can’t be Sky Papi!
I know Sky Papi is there and answers every prayer, so he must be answering that bitch, Karen’s prayers against me too. In the end my faith is as unwavering as usual. Sky Papi knows better than me… soooo even though Karen’s a total ass-hat, it’s ok that Sky Papi loves her too and answers her stupid prayers. If we’re being honest, Sky Papi is probably the only one that loves her.
But seriously, I was thinking that perhaps our thoughts and prayers aren’t getting through to Sky Papi because he’s not joined the twenty-first century. Like, what is this mother fucker’s email? Can I even Snapchat him? Being a very hard-working believer — and needing to prove my worth to Sky Papi — I’ve upgraded his contact info! Finally! God has an email address. Obviously it won’t actually be managed by God, but rather a self-appointed representative of God.
“All Thoughts & Prayers emailed to SkyPapi@thejackmormoncomedyhour.com will be responded to. #AllThoughtsAndPrayersMatter”